Always look at your options

I had another follow up with my plastic surgeon. This one is for adults only. Oh my. 

When I had left my other appointment He had my make another appointment to discuss what else I wanted to do. I wasn't really sure what that all meant. But, I like to hear what he had to say. 

I have to wear a mask to all my appointments. I got to my appointment 15 minutes before the appointment. The receptionists are amazing and awesome. They also had to take my temperature and ask all the Covid questions. I'm sure they are tired of asking the same questions again and again. But they always greet you and treat you with kindness. 

The doctor looked at my implants. He said I had healed very nicely. That was great to hear. 

Then he went into my options. Yes, I still had some options and some decisions to make. Again, disclaimer here. There will be some adult words and such. If you don't want to read about it, skip down to the Bitmoji and the subject will change. 

So one of my options was to have fat sucked out of my stomach or love handles and put on top of my implants to round them out more. Not to make them bigger, but a more round shape. Now the sucking fat sounded good. He actually could've kept the fat. He wouldn't have needed to put it back in, even if it was in a different part of me. 

Option two was to have him make me nipples. The nipples would be small and flesh colored. If I wanted them to be a color, I would have to have the color tattooed on. 

Option three would be just to have a tattoo of a nipple put on there. 

Now, I will share that I am not going to have any of those done.Even though it was tempting to have fat sucked out.  But it was really good to hear my options. I am happy with the reconstruction he has done. He is a great doctor. I'm so glad my surgeon recommenced him. 

I will have to see him every year. I have my appointment with him for next year already set up. If I have any issues, I have to call right away. 

I did ask what are some signs that something is wrong with my implants. I don't think something will go wrong, but I do need to be informed so if something does happen, I know what I'm looking for. 

Now some of you might be thinking I'm over sharing and giving way too much information. The reason I am sharing my whole experience on this blog is that a dear friend of mine gave me a book written by a woman who went through breast cancer. It was actually someone I followed on Twitter. It was her experience, everyone's experience is different, but it was good to hear what she went through and how she tackled everything. I want to let people know they can share this blog with anyone going through this and hear what someone went through. Like what it is like to go through reconstruction and how it will look when it is done. So I'm sharing all this to help anyone else going through this. 

I'm so excited that all my restrictions have been lifted. Whoo hoo. That means healing is done. I am ready to move forward. Then again, this whole time I have been moving forward. 

Now I am on keeping cancer free. Which means I need to make sure I eat healthy, exercise, have a good outlook, and laugh. 

And pray and read my Bible and sing. Ok, well, sing at my house, in the car and I am looking forward to singing in choir someday.  Someday Covid will be under control and we can sing again. Amazing Grace, In Christ Alone, Any Christmas carol And yes I sing Christmas songs all year long. 

 

What is normal? Or is that just a setting on your dryer?

So, trying to figure out my new normal again. I went to see my rock star PT lady. She is amazing. She needed to see me to see how I was healing from my latest operation.  She said I was looking really good and now I only need to call her when I have signs of lymphoma.Signs are my arm feels heavy or swelling. She is really good about informing me about what I need to look for and how important it is to call right away. 

I had my follow up visit to my plastic surgeon. He is really amazing and his staff is really good at listening and asking questions. I had a spot of red under my left one. It is really difficult to see what was the spot of red. I thought it looked like blood that was under the glue they used to put me back together. But I wasn't sure and I wasn't too concerned since it wasn't dripping. Dripping blood is not a good sign. So I told the nurse that there was a spot, it wasn't sore, and didn't have red around it, so I thought it was dried blood. My plastic guy came in and put on his special glasses and said it was dried blood under the glue. That made me happy. He said I looked good and was healing nicely. 

I have to see him in a couple of weeks to discuss next steps. I'm not sure what next steps are, but I will go back and listen to what he has to say. 

I'm getting use to wearing a mask for all my appointments. Sometimes its really difficult to hear what people are saying. Everything is muffled. I'm not excited about not hearing people talk.  

Has anyone else noticed that some people are more snarky? How sad. I have a feeling everyone is tired of having to be so careful and they are becoming snarky. I try to be kind to everyone. 

I have been trying to walk everyday. Some days I walk along the Fox River Trail. It is so pretty. I love walking along the water. It is so pretty, it makes walking fun. 

I have been so excited to be able to attend church. It has been uplifting to worship with my church family. We have to register for church, and we still can't sing in church. We either listen to a cantor sing, or we speak the words. I usually sing the hymns on the way home from church. And I was able to take communion. 

July 22nd 2019 was my last big chemo. I can hardly believe it has been a year since I had my last big chemo. I remember how tired I was after my last one. And how excited I was to be done with my big chemo. And how blessed I was to have all the support while going through chemo. I went to lunch to celebrate. I didn't wear my purple wig. I could have. But now I have hair. Real hair. I'm so thankful. It has been a very eventful year. 

These are a few of my favorite things

Do you have some favorite things? 

A favorite song? 

A favorite food? 

A favorite place to go? 

A favorite Bible verse? 

A favorite book? 

I never could give one answer to any of those. 

A favorite song? Well, that depends on my mood. I have a favorite rock song, a couple of favorite hymns. OK, I'll be honest, more than a couple. I have a couple of favorite songs we sung in choir. 

I have several places I love to go. I love Mackinaw Island. It is so beautiful and there are only two cars on the entire island. I love the sound of crashing waves. The sunset on Lake Michigan is also beautiful. One of my favorite places to be is with my friends. The laughter and smiles and great conversation is one of the best places to be. Sitting next to the Jovers, also one of the best places to be. 

Food? Yes please!! Seafood is wonderful. I think that is from going fishing with my family and eating what we caught. I also love lobster. No we didn't go fishing for lobster. 

Before this whole journey started, I had some favorite Bible passages that meant a lot to me. Jer. 29:11 I know the plans I have for you. Psalm 23. The Lord is my Shepherd. 

A friend always liked Be still and know that I am God. I spent a lot of time being still last summer. I spent a lot of time this spring being still. I learned how to be still so I could spend time talking to my Savior. We had a lot of chats. 

Phil. 4:8 Whatever is true, whatever is noble Whatever is right.....think on these things. With the world going wackadoodle, you need to think about the blessings you have. I always look for the joy, the blessings in my life. I have been so blessed. I have a jar of joy. When something great happens, I write it down and put it in the jar. The jar is very full at the end of the year.  

Those are only a few of my favorite passages. Anyone else sit in church and listen to the Bible readings and go.. Oh I like that passage, that one is really cool. Or am I the only person who does that? 

And favorite book? Don't even get me started. I would need to start a whole other blog for all the books I really love. One of my favorite authors is Dee Henderson. She is a very talented author. I love reading books all sorts of books. One of my favorite series is Mr. Lemoncello's Library series. 

May you find your favorite things today and enjoy the blessings you have. 

Conference gone virtual

Ya know when you get a box in the mail and you are so excited to open it. Especially when it is from a company that is amazing. Then you are told you can't open it until a certain day and time. Yep, that's what happened. 

As you know my favorite conference to attend was made virtual and I couldn't attend it in person. I was sad that I wouldn't be seeing my friends in person. One of the best parts of the conference is the conversations that take place during meals and in the evening. The people who attend are Rock star educators from around the world. I am privileged to learn from all of them. 

This year was different because I had been asked to present at the conference. I had all my slides ready to go, I had everything I wanted to say written down. I didn't present until the second day. 

All the times they gave us were in Eastern time. I'm not in Eastern time. So I had to make sure I was logging in at the correct time. 

The beginning was a cute video which they always start the conference with a cute video. It was people packing for DENSI, then taking their suitcases to another room. I laughed so hard. Then it started. We had to have our box next to us and they did a count down for when we could open it. We got a selfie light. Everything had a great purpose. We got a selfie light because we let our light shine as an educator. It was fun. They know how to make us feel appreciated. 

Then we had some great sessions. They had breakout groups to go to according to your role in school. So I was with the tech and library people. It was great to talk to them. 

Day two they had what was called an icebreaker. Usually I'm not a fan of icebreakers. But this one was amazing. We had to click on the link then we were in a "room" then we were sent to another room and joined by another person at the conference. There were questions you could answer to keep the conversation going. You had 8 minutes with each person. I was so excited when one of the people was someone I knew. We were both excited to see each other and catch up. How awesome it was to meet people. The DEN is awesome at making sure there are connections made at the conference. I don't know how they are able to pick people who are willing to make connections and make everyone feel connected. I have made life long friends at past conferences. 

I got on early to my session. All my tech worked.I was so relieved. That was the part that made me nervous. It is really difficult to present sitting on your couch talking to your computer. I really like presenting in person and looking at the faces of the people. I had a friend watching the chat and answering some questions that came up. Everyone seemed to learn something new. It was great to present. 

I loved every minute of the conference. It did seem odd that when it was done at 3pm, it was done. There was no DENmazing race, no DENivator fair, no late night name that tune. Part of me really missed those times. 

The last day of the conference was more presentations about what is coming next and what they are working on  and how to use this with remote learning. 

The hardest click I had to make was the leave meeting. It asked if I wanted to leave the meeting and I wanted to say no. I wanted to spend more time with my friends. I clicked leave the meeting and was sad to say good bye to my friends. 

I was a big mix of emotions. I was so happy to be able to attend, I was so sad to not see people in person. 

It's been a long road

After my double mastectomy, I started reconstruction. They put in expanders and I was expanded until I was at my correct size. I got to pick my correct size. I like my new size. My expanders were not meant to be permanent.  Permanent would be implants. 

I wasn't sure if I could get my implants during this COVID time. I had made the appointment to get my implants. I had a preop appointment a week before my operation. Now they take my temperature when I get to the office. So I get in and he measures me. Did you know the type of implants they are going to give me are called Gummies. Yes you read that correctly, Gummies. 

He also ordered a couple of different sizes. I wondered why he would need different sizes. I mean, I picked my size. Shouldn't he just be able to measure and get the correct size.  Then he explained why. Apparently he makes sure they look good on the outside and are the same size. My chest might be somewhat concave and he would need the correct size to make sure I look the same on the outside. I never knew that. I have learned so many weird and strange facts during this journey. 

I did get some really good news. Now I don't need to self isolate for four days before my procedure. I can take my COVID test the day before my procedure so I will only have to self isolate for 24 hours. 

So I had to take the COVID test. Same place, same process, and it hurt this time when she stuck the Qtip up my nose. It was not fun. But it didn't take long and I was on my way home to self isolate. I understand why I had to do that. I know we have to make sure everyone is safe. I want to make sure everyone is safe. Again if I got a phone call, my test was positive and I would have to wait to get the procedure. I was thankful my phone didn't ring. 

The person I talked to at the hospital told me I had to buy a special soap to wash the night before. So I went to the store and bought the special wash. I think it was suppose to kill any germs. I am now germ free and my bag is packed. I'm not spending the night. But I have a book to read to keep my mind off of the surgery.

 

I had to get to the hospital at 5:30am. Yes in the morning. Really early in the morning. I was nervous about not waking up in time, and oversleeping. I didn't sleep much that night. I kept waking up to see if it was time to wake up. 

I have some amazing friends. I had to have someone come to my house at 5:30 am to pick me up and drop me off at the hospital. I am so thankful God has put such great friends in my life. 

There was a line to register when I got there at 5:30 am. I didn't expect that. And we all had masks on and were social distancing. I also had to wait to be escorted to my room. Because of COVID many of the operations were put on hold and some hospital workers were furloughed. And they don't have the volunteer force they had, so the people working the desk had double duty. Everyone was very nice. 

I was taken to my room. It was the room I would have the entire time I was there. My nurse was very nice. She had a ton of questions to ask me. And again my allergies to MSG came up. Which includes cheetos. She had a good laugh about that. So did I. 

I had to go into the bathroom and use special wipes to wipe down everything. 

She was really good about putting my IV in.  When I get an IV in my hand I really really really don't like to move my hand. It freaks me out. It really does. They have to put the IV in my right hand because I had lymph nodes  removed from my left side. everything is on the right. Which makes them put a bracelet on me saying there is a limb alert. I also have the allergy alert. 

I remember the person coming in and talking about putting me under. Then they gave me something to make me tired. It worked. Then again I was tired to begin with. They came and wheeled me down the hall. While they were wheeling me down, I fell asleep. I don't remember going into the operating room. 

When I woke up I had a bra on and new gummy girls. I wasn't sore, I felt good. And the best part was no drainage tubes. 

I had to wait for someone to take me downstairs to my ride. I had a very good friend agree to help me after this. She was going to spend the night to make sure everything was ok. Have I mentioned that I have been blessed with some very good friends. They are amazing. I had so many friends message me to see how I was feeling. 

Actually, this operation was pretty good. I wasn't sore, I could raise my arms. The only big restriction I had was that I couldn't lift more than 15 pounds. So I could still lift Jovi. I made sure the stroller was in the garage so I wouldn't have to lift it. 

I actually felt good, so my friend and I took Jovi for a walk. Then we got take out at Fox Harbor. I really like Fox Harbor. They have good food. We were able to enjoy the nice weather and sit outside. I really enjoy sitting outside. 

The night was ok I was suppose to sleep on my back. I really can't sleep on my back, I'm more of a side sleeper. Well, sometime during the night I turned on my side. I didn't realize that until I woke up. 

I couldn't shower for forty eight hours after my operation. You know when you can't shower, that is when you really miss showering. I also couldn't remove the bra they put on me until the forty-eight hours were done. 

As everyone knows, I don't like medical things. Taking off the bra and the gauze they put on really freaked me out. It did. But I did it. I was really proud of myself. 

 

Its a Whole New World

Masks, How to wear a mask 101. I wear a mask when I go into a store. Many people wear masks in stores. Many people don't know how to wear their mask. I see masks below their noses, I see masks on their chin. I also see people touching the front of their masks. From what I was told the bad germs are on the front of the mask if you tough the front of the mask you put the nasty germs on your hands. Then your hands touch your face and you have the nasty germs on your face. So the mask didn't protect you. Wear your mask correctly! 

                                                                 

Speaking of masks. I made more masks along with some other sewing projects. As I have told you in other posts. I am part of the Daughters of the American Revolution. or DAR. Their mission is to preserve history and to honor and help veteran's and people serving in the military. Last summer when I was going through chemo I knit hats for our soldiers. This summer I sewed masks. I only sewed 50 masks. But all together the Daughters have made 500,000 masks. I'm so proud to be part of this organization. 

With COVID 19 it is a whole new world. Wearing masks. You can't get close to anyone. Lots of hand washing, no sports, 

My conference that I love to attend is now virtual. I'm sad I won't see my dear friends in person. but at least I will be able to attend the conference and "see" them. I was really excited to get an email from the people who organize the conference. They asked me to present. Wow, an international conference and I am being asked to present. I was so excited and nervous and flattered that I was being asked to share what I know. The educators who attend this conference are educator rockstars. The bar was set high for what I have to do. 

The other conference I had offered to present at is also virtual. I have to record my presentations for this conference. I actually have two presentations for this other conference. 

Well making a virtual and recorded presentation will keep me busy the next couple of weeks. I better go, I have some work to do. 

I have my operation to get my expanders out all scheduled I go and see them before I go for surgery 

Screen time

When everything shut down. Schools went virtual. And that meant a lot more screen time for teachers and anyone who works in a school. I sat at my computer more than ever. 

Everyone laughs when I say I was tired of looking at my screen. I wanted to see people in real life. The safer at home order was starting to take a toll. I had worked so hard at staying healthy last year and now I couldn't enjoy it because I had to stay at home. At least the weather was getting nicer and I could sit outside. 

As school was starting to wind down, but that didn't mean my meetings were. I still had a ton of meetings to attend. Some of the unknowns became known. We were told who our new principal was and we knew when the safer at home order would come to an end. That didn't mean everything would return to normal. It did mean that things would begin to open up. I was so happy to hear that. 

We were finally able to go back into the school buildings. We had to sign up for a time and had to wear a mask and fill out a form. But we were allowed in the buildings. I was so excited to be back. I had a big job ahead of me. I had to pack up one of my libraries. And by pack up I mean put every book on a cart and everything behind the desk on a cart. Luckily my clerical could come in when I wasn't there and put books on carts. The new furniture was in the hall and it looks amazing. During summer they will be painting and new carpet. Then Yes you guessed it, all that was taken off the shelves need to be put back on. Ugh. but it is worth it to get a pretty cool library. 

We had a drive through come and get your things and drop off anything you had at home. Everything that was dropped off had to be quarantined.  I was really impressed with all the thought that went into making it as safe as possible to gt things and drop things off. 

It seemed odd the last day of school didn't feel like the last day of school. Last year at this time I was getting ready for my next chemo . This year I was sitting at home looking at a screen (Again). How I miss saying good bye to everyone. talking to people about summer plans. Looking forward to what the summer will bring. 

What will this summer bring? More sitting at my house? My summer conference is now virtual. How sad I won't see my friends at the conference and spend time with them. Will we be able to travel? Should we travel? There is still so many unknowns. There is one known. My God is faithful and good. He is always watching over me. 

I have been watching a couple of recorded services. How good it is to hear the message. I love that I can watch not only on Sunday, but other days of the week.  That screen time was a blessing. 

Do you remember?

OK, Who remembers Welcome Back Kotter? It was a popular show in the 70's and John Travolta was Vinnie Barbarino. One of the sayings they often said was up your nose with a rubber hose. I know, I just dated myself and I am old. Yeppers. Well, if you ever had a Covid test it is up your nose, not with a rubber hose, but with a Qtip. 

So before they could look at my throat again, I had to have a Covid test. Which surprised me. During the shut down, they had cancelled anything that could wait. Apparently my throat thing could not wait. Which is good and bad. It means that it will get taken care of, but it was bad enough not to wait. 

I was given very strict instructions about my Covid test. No, really, they were very specific and I dare not do anything from what they said. 

So the Friday of Memorial Day weekend I had to drive to a specific clinic. I had to wear a mask, and bring my ID and a cell phone. Yea, I was confused about the cell phone also. But when I got there, it all made sense. 

They had those big containers and signs. You had a certain number to call when you got to the sign. You didn't go into the building, hence the containers. That was the offices they were using . You called the number and the nurse asked name date of birth and what kind of car you had. She also said NOT to roll down the window until instructed. Really if I hadn't been so nervous about the Covid test I would've made some spy reference. I needed a code name and a cool pair of sunglasses. I did not bring the Jovi. I was afraid they wouldn't do the test if she was in the car. 

So I drive between the two big containers and a lady in a full hazmat suit with her own oxygen comes out of the door. She asks for my ID and I hold it up. I have my mask on (alone in my car) and she gives me the ok to role down my window. But not the ok to take my mask off. Since I don't want to reschedule my throat thing. I am very careful about following her directions. 

She goes over the rules.  I can't leave my house until I go to the hospital (which there is a story about that remind me to tell you that one. ) I have to stay away from the people in my house that leave the house. I don't have to worry about that one. They had already told me this when I set up the appointment. I know they have to go over it again. I felt sorry for her to have to repeat the same thing over and over again. I'm sure there are people out there who loved to argue and question her. 

It was finally time. I had to put my car in park and I could lower my mask. then she stuck the Qtip up both nostrils. Not my idea of a good time. I didn't know my nostrils went that far back. She told me to go straight home and not stop. Good thing I went in the morning. There was a Zesty's on the way home. I was craving anything from every place I passed. 

Now one of my friends questioned why I would want to stay home over Memorial Day Weekend. Well, Everything was still closed so it really didn't matter when I had to self quarantine. 

I had gotten take out the night before So I had those left overs. I stayed in my courtyard and could grill, I sat outside on my parkside patio. So it was ok.  I didn't hear anything and they would only call if it was positive. So no news was good news. No phone call and everything could go as scheduled.  Whoo hoo 

I had to get a ride to the hospital because I couldn't drive there. I asked about that because I had to get a ride from someone outside my household. Jovi doesn't drive.  That was ok, Some things you just smile and nod and don't ask too many questions. 

They got me prepped. With everyone wearing a mask . I had on my cool purple one with musical notes. I had to laugh.They go over allergies and I'm allergic to MSG mostly found in soups and cheese puffs. Well on my official chart I am allergic to MSG and Cheetos. Which Cheetos has MSG in it (sadly)  But I must have been explaining that it is found in foods and gave an example and she put it down. Then they added the limb alert bracelet. Which always makes me think of life alert. The I've fallen and can't get up. 

The procedure didn't take long at all and I didn't have as bad of cramps as I did the last time for which I am forever grateful. Those cramps were wicked. 

The doctor came in to talk to me and hand me pictures.  He did take a biopsy to make sure everything was good. I'm glad he is proactive like that and is looking out for my health and healing. He said I should have the results by Friday. That's not too bad. I really don't want to see pictures of my throat. It's healing. He wants me on prescription meds to help it heal so I have that to go and pick up.  

I had to be escorted to the car. They had to make sure I was not getting into a car and driving. I totally get why. But my amazing friend who came to pick me up could not wait in the lobby or come upstairs. She also couldn't wait in the valet circle. That I wasn't sure why. So I walked out to the parking lot and she came to me. 

I got home and worked on normal stuff. I do have to make a follow up appointment in September or October so he can make sure I'm still healing. Now I just have to wait until I get the results. They are going to call me with them. 

God is good. I'm glad my throat is healing.  My everything else is healing. Now hopefully this virus will run the course and we can hug each other and have get togethers. 

The unknown

Ugh, Schools went on-line because of the virus that was going on. We closed the buildings March 13th. And we had been told they would be closed until April 26th. That date changed to May 13th. Then we got the official word the buildings were closed for the rest of the school year. 

We had many, many, many virtual meetings. Teachers were meeting with their students using Google hangout. I was invited to some of those. I was able to read a book and see the students. I had really missed seeing all those little faces. 

The stay at home order was tough. Oh, I had plenty of projects I could do. I have quilts I could make, I have puppets I want to make, I have a top I need to finish crocheting. I have videos I need to make for school. I could work on my professional website. There is always dishes and laundry. The toughest part was not seeing people face to face. Even when I was going through chemo at least on my good weeks I could get out and see people. I would only see people once a week when I would get groceries or get take out. 

I was lucky. I had friends who I would virtually meet with and we could talk. We would speculate what is going to happen. We could cheer each other on and help if anyone had tech issues or other issues. Meeting virtually was the best we could do with what was going on. 

Finally things started opening back up. I was able to go to PT. All the questions I had to answer before I went, when I got there and then when I got to the third floor they asked the same questions. She is awesome and gave me stretches to do. I will always have stretches to do. She also answered some questions I had and then told me how I needed to be standing some time when I was working on the computer. 

I have my appointment to have my expanders out and my new girls put in. I haven't heard if it was cancelled due to Covid. I'm sure I would hear soon if it was. 

I have another throat thing. Funny story. I was trying to explain the throat procedure and they call it an ENG, well I goofed and said EKG. I was one letter off, but that one letter makes a huge difference. oops. 

I miss going to worship at church. The experts are saying that singing can force the air particles further, so there might not be singing in church when we are able to return. That makes me sad. I love to sing in church. Singing praises to my God is one of the many blessings I have and won't be able to do. 

I was able to work in my courtyard. I took out the raised flower bed, put down stones and planted plants in containers. I also bought an outdoor rug for my parkside patio. Since everything is closed this summer, I will be sitting outside and using my outdoor spaces more. I'm so excited on how everything turned out. 

So many things are unknown. I long for things to get back to normal. We are told there will be a new normal and it won't look like it did before. We don't know what fall will look like, we don't know what summer will look like. No one knows much about this new virus and there are some pretty far out theories about it. All I know is, even though there is a lot of unknown. I know my God is watching out for me and looking after me. He loves me and cares for me. I will cling to what I know. I will not be afraid of what is coming because my God is there.