I'm out of the basement

Well, I did come out of the basement. I had my sad time where I couldn't be in the library when the people came to see the renovations. I was/am still sad about that. But there is nothing I can do. I know there will be other times that I won't be able to do things or be places that I normally would be. I'm trying to get past it. The great thing is my rock star district librarian was great. She knew how much I wanted to be there. I am blessed to work with her. 

I did finish Jovi's quilt and have one other quilt almost done. I have to say  when I put material on the floor, Jovi loves to sit on it and check it out. She likes her new quilt. But she would rather sit next to me and share my quilt. I'm ok with that. She is watching over me and making sure I'm ok 

I was blessed to have my dear friend from Michigan come and visit me. We have been friends since college and have stayed close even though we are a very long car ride away. It was great to catch up in person and talk. It was the day of my second chemo treatment so the timing was good. I still have energy. Jovi loves when they come and visit. 

I'm starting to get some odd bald spots, so my next step is to get shorter hair. I have an appointment made. I will have to work on my scarf tying.  I do have some cute caps I can wear also. 

Wednesday and Thursday are going to be my low energy days. I still have some things I need to finish. But they are on the computer and I can do that between naps. 

I'm praying my nausea meds will work this time. God is good and he is watching over me. I know he will get me through this. 

Birthday, blessings and bummer

My birthday was yesterday. It was a great day. I heard from many of my friends from all over the United States (and even England) I am very blessed to have so many friends! 
The day before my birthday I was able to take a walk with a friend. It was great catching up and walking. 

This is my good week so I was able to join some of my friends at Anduzzi's for dinner. It was fun to see them, catch up and laugh. I needed to laugh and have good conversation.
I got flowers! I love flowers. They make me happy. 

They are pretty and I love my friends! It was a very fun evening. I also got cards from the students at school. I loved reading all their notes. Many had drawn the Jovi, they did an amazing job. I showed Jovi and she thought they were excellent. 
And it was a beautiful day! The sun was shining and no snow.  Jovi and I had a great game of tug. She loves to play tug. And I love playing tug with her. 

Tomorrow at school people are coming to  look at the library renovations. I had  big part of the renovations, but I won't be there when they are there. Which makes me really sad. I love the way the library turned out. It looks really cool. So I'm going to spend most of my day in my sewing room working on something. It's a bummer that I'm going to miss it. I knew that I would miss it when I was making all my appointments. It's going to be tough, but I know getting treatments are my priority now. So if you see me tomorrow, hug me or pat me on the head and tell me its ok. Then again, you probably won't see me tomorrow if I'm hiding in my sewing room. 
I need to focus on my blessings and not what I am missing. Some days that is easier said than done. 
Next week is my next treatment, Which means going back to being tired. I'm going to enjoy my good week! 

Have I said I like purple?

Even the day after the Dr visit I still didn't feel good. Have you seen the Pepto Bismol ad? All I heard in my head was that song. Wish I could've changed the channel. 
So another phone call to the nurse and I have different meds. Actually more meds to help with my tummy. I also knew I was still dehydrated, so back to St. Mary's for more fluids 
Between the new meds (and there is a story for that, I'll get to it in a minute) and the fluids, I feel like a normal person again. Well as normal as I get. 
I'm so happy the new meds and the fluids worked. Now I need to keep up on my fluids. I have found flavored water that sits well with me. Anyone need Gatorade?  I might not drink that for a long time. 

I had to stop at the pharmacy to get a couple of things when I picked up my meds. Usually the pharmacy people are nice and helpful and ready to listen. Well, the person mom and I talked to was not a happy person. I needed something and because the nurse told me the name brand, that was what I was going to buy. The guy was rude to my mother, and then to me when I walked in to talk to him. I even said I needed the name brand because that's what the nurse told me and since I'm doing chemo treatments, I need to follow the exact directions. He made some snarky comment about how if I really wanted to pay more I could. He wasn't helpful about getting my new meds and didn't even acknowledge I was standing at the counter for five minutes. I know I wasn't at my prettiest, but at least say you will be with me soon. It doesn't cost anything to say a nice word or be kind. When will people learn that? 

We have a Sting Cancer group at my school and they made me this amazing blanket. Guess who tried it out last night and shared it with me. Yes, Jovi has decided it is her blanket and she might share with me, maybe. 

I love it. I was so touched when my friend delivered it last night. How sweet and kind everyone has been. It brings tears to my eyes. I also got cards from some students at my school It was so fun to hear from them. I do really miss seeing them. But I know I can't go back to school until after chemo is done. 

I also got..................

Yes, I now have purple shoes to match my purple port. My port has been busy this week with fluids and stuff. I'm so excited about my purple shoes. 

Yesterday was a good stomach day and today is starting as a good stomach day. I'm praying we have figured out how my meds will work 

I'm hoping to feel good enough to attend the Good Friday service at my church. I will rest today and see if this good tummy continues. I love our Good Friday service and would be sad to miss it. 

Lessons learned.

I learned so hard lessons this week. First of all the tile in my bathroom is very hard. I'm looking into putting padding down. 
The nausea really hit me hard. It was hard to chew, swallow and really even drink anything. I tried my best to make sure I was keeping lots of fluids coming in. I knew that was important. My motto was hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. But with the really bad nausea  eating wasn't easy. I tried small meals, snacks, many different types of food. Chewing wasn't fun and my stomach didn't like anything. I was taking my pills that were to help my stomach, but they weren't making it better. Nothing was making it better. 
I had more energy, but didn't want to do anything because of my stomach. 
So I called the nurse and told her I was coming in on Tuesday, but I was having issues with nausea. 

Monday I had felt good enough to walk around Meijer and go shopping with mom. It was nice to be out and about. 

Then Monday night hit. Oh my goodness. 

~Warning~ The next part is not for the faint of heart. skip over and go to the end if you have a queasy stomach or don't like icky medical stuff. 

I had tried to eat, but the nausea returned. I was tired so I decided to go to bed early. My rock star doctor told me sleep is also very important when doing chemo. 

I walked upstairs, leaving my parents and the Jovi downstairs. And that's when it hit. I started to sweat, I went to sit down, my head started spinning and I could hear a notification on my phone and then I was kissing the ground. 

My dad asked who had made that noise. Please note that even though I have a seven pound dog, she sounds like she weights 103 pounds when she walks around. I have no idea how she does that. She is talented. 

I yelled down that was me and we needed to call. Mom came up and I called the nurse and told her what happened. A very nice doctor called me back and told me to come in. So I took out my contacts. and called a good friend of mine to take me to the emergency room. 

I sat walked the steps to meet him downstairs.  I was having issues standing up. He walked me to his car and mom came along. We went to the emergency room. 

Oh my, everything hurt, They wheeled me into a room and started asking questions and taking blood. They used my handy dandy port. 

I had on these cute slip on shoes to wear to the hospital. 

They gave me fluids and something for the nausea. I sat with my eyes closed waiting to feel better. Talking to God about my stomach. Which he knew about and was making sure I had people to help me. 

After fluids and a couple of doses to help my stomach. I was told to  drink some juice and then walk to see if I felt better and could go home or if I had to stay the night. I drank some juice and my stomach didn't revolt. (whoo hoo) Then they walked me. And by walking me one nurse walked beside me and one walked behind me with a wheel chair. They asked if I was lightheaded, which I wasn't. So they discharged me and I walked out the the ER. My friend had stayed to make sure I had a way to get home. Not all heroes wear capes!  He also walked me to the door of my house and made sure mom and I got in ok. 

I went right upstairs and went to bed. Poor Jovi, she was so excited to see me and I just was too tired to give her more than I love ya Jovi quick pet. 

I slept really well. I woke up and my stomach didn't hurt. (way to go stomach)

I had my follow up doctor's appointment. 

We talked about my check. Which is the body part that found out that tile is hard. (The correct response if you see me this week is You look so Pretty Shelly) 

We talked about my anti nausea meds. Which now I'm on a schedule for. Which should help and will make it more of a routine for round two of chemo. 

Found out my oncologist is also an April birthday! April birthdays rock!

We talked about how much fluids I should be getting. When people ask are you drinking enough, whet does everyone consider enough? So now I have a goal. Four glasses everyday. And sadly tea isn't on my list of good drinks to have. 

I love tea and drink it a lot. It is now on my list of sadness. 

Before I left my doctor suggested another bag of IV fluids. So we went and got another bag of fluids.

He was really good about answering my other odd questions that I had. But I have a plan for the rest of this week. And Next week is my really good week. Which is why I was so not happy about feeling yucky this week. 

So I have learned some lessons. 

And all through this, I have my Savior who watched over me. Even though I had a bad week, I am reminded I am blessed beyond measure. 

Good day, exhausting day, snow day

I was told the week after chemo I would have no energy. And i wouldn't feel like normal. Well. They didn't lie. 
I am a high energy, get stuff done, multi task, but loves to nap person. It was really hard to be that slow, and tired. Yikes. I took the dog outside and then I had to rest afterwards. I ate breakfast, then rested and napped. I walked to do laundry, and rested. I hydrated and hydrated some more. and rested. For someone who doesn't do that much resting, it was tough. I knew I needed to make sure I walked enough. 
Then it snowed. Not as much as last year. (last year we had 24 inches of snow) This year it was only 5-6 inches. A really nice person came and shoveled my sidewalk. Which was really sweet.

 

Can I say that I was really hoping the snow forecast would be wrong and it would miss us? I'm tired of winter and snow. 
Well, with the snow and yuckiness, I rescheduled my get out my stitch appointment. They were very understanding about the reschedule. 
It was a tough day. Again with resting and hydrating and walking around the house and being exhausted. I am not use to that.  I know there are some people who love to lay around and do nothing. That is not me. I was too tired to read for more than 5 minutes. And I had a really good book to read. The book was by Chris Grabenstein called Beach Party Surf Monkey Which is the sequel to Home Sweet Motel. He is the same author who wrote Escape from Mr. Lemoncello's Library. I love his books. They are funny. 
The day I got my stitch out didn't start out too well. I didn't feel the best. It's scary when you know what you need to look for in case of something wrong. I took my temperature, which was normal. Side comment. It was hard to read the really,  really small print of the directions. Especially when you are not in a calm mind. I went to get my stitch out at the hospital. The people at oncology are rock stars. I had a couple of questions and they were answered and I had peace of mind that everything would be ok. 

The stitch being taken out took a whole 2 minutes. I didn't feel a thing. She was so sweet and kind. While I was waiting for the car to be brought back, I had to sit down and wait. I'm not use to that. After we got home, I rested again. And walked a little and rested and hydrated. 

Jovi has been a rock star. She is making sure I rest and sitting next to me and keeping me company. She looks after me when I'm sleeping. Poor thing wasn't too happy with the snow either. She was happier when the snow melted at her favorite places. 

Today is better. I have more energy. I am still resting and hydrating and walking. I actually had enough energy to walk around the book sale our public library hosted. Mom found some good books. After she reads some, then I will read them.  
I'm learning this is my new temporary normal. I will adapt. I will get stronger. I will pray and lean on my God to get me through this. 
Next week I'm going for a walk with a real person. I'm looking forward to the walk. I have an appointment on Tuesday. Praying all is good. 
Palm Sunday is this Sunday. Hosanna to God in the Highest Heaven. 

Friends and love and tired

So, Monday was my first chemo. Yesterday was pretty good. I was tired, which was to be expected. But I also knew I needed to be active. Its a balance. I listen to when I need to sit and when I can keep going.  I also knew I needed to keep hydrated.  That was something I heard was very important.  Jovi loved the extra naptimes. She is always ready to cuddle and nap. 


Pastor stopped by. It was great to hear God's word. Just what I needed after my long day of chemo. I am so blessed to have my friends share Bible passages with me and encouragement. All the words of encouragement is so great for me. I know I will need all those words of encouragement during this journey. And thank you to everyone who is keeping me uplifted in prayer. 

I had a chance to meet up with some friends. It was good to get out and laugh. Laughter and smiles, good friends are some of the best medicine I can think of. 


And.....Snow in the forecast for tonight and tomorrow changing to rain. Can I just say Yuck. At least it won't be as bad as the 24 inches we got last year. But tomorrow is when I'm suppose to get my stitch out. I called and will probably change my appointment to Friday. As the nurse said, we need you to be safe. I want to be safe also. I just might hunker down tomorrow and rest and read and walk laps in the house. And maybe listen to some Bon Jovi! 

First Chemo

I had my first first chemo treatment today. I goofed up and tried to go right to chemo downstairs. 
I had to start upstairs with getting labs taken. I talked to some very nice nurses who took my blood from my port. I couldn't put on the numbing cream because the incision wasn't healed. It will be next time I go in. So the needle hurt. I won't lie, it did. 
After they checked my blood, then I could go downstairs. 
  

So we went to a private room. They have chairs that you could look outside. I will do one of those on a different day. Besides I knew it would be a long day. 
I had an awesome nurse who made me feel like I had this and she was going to help me get better. 
I got a lot of bags of fluid. I didn't realize they tailored the  treatment and the type of chemo I got to the exact cancer I have and the issues I have. That is so amazing. How far treatments have come in the past 40 years. I thank God for very smart doctors and nurses who work in the field of medicine. 
I had heard it was good to keep drinking fluids. I don't want to get dehydrated. That is not good. I also need to stay away from germy sick people. 

I will admit that I probably got obnoxious during my treatment. Every time she gave me a new bag, it was double checked by a second nurse that it was the right bag with the right bag. But I also had to tell my name and DOB. I always added. It's my Birthday Month. The poor nurse had to hear that a lot today. But hey, I have gotten to this age and should have a month to celebrate. 



The nurse told me I am most vulnerable for germs next week. This week I will be tired and need to listen to my body. 

We ordered lunch through the cafeteria. It was really good. I even got pudding. The best part was the nurse said. I could have a piece of Costco cake for my birthday. Everything in moderation. 



After treatment (which was a lot of sitting for me, I never sit that much) We went shopping for some food. 
We are to get 6-10 inches of snow Wednesday into Thursday. I'm suppose to get my stitch out on Thursday. The nurse said if its bad, It can wait until Friday. 

We got home and it started to rain. luckily we got everything into the house. Poor Jovi doesn't like the  rain. She was so excited we were finally home, but wasn't excited to go outside in the rain. Poor girl. 

So here I sit ready to go to bed. Not sure what reactions I will have. Or what tomorrow will bring. But I know my God is there already paving my way. 

The nurse made a comment about how she sees people come to treatment alone and That made me sad. 
I thought about how blessed I am to have people willing to sit with me during chemo and emailing, texting or calling to see how it is going. Or to remind me they were praying for me. I am humbled with how many are taking time to make sure I'm ok. God has blessed me with some amazing people in my life. 
I will need those people when I need to go for walks this summer. And they would need to be willing to be seen walking a dog in a stroller. Jovi loves her stroller and feels safe in there. So we use a stroller. 

I am tired and my body needs rest. At least it doesn't hurt so much to sleep. Everything is healing nicely. 
Night all! 

I am

I am....

.
I am a redeemed child of God.
I am a hockey fan
I am a baseball fan
I am a person who loves to sing
I am a person who loves to perform
I am a person who love to play with technology
I am a reader
I am a fighter
I am an optimist
I am a friend
I am a person who loves to laugh
I am a person who looks for the good
I trust in my God
I am a person who works hard
I am a person who does her best whatever the task



I am not my diagnosis
I am not a person who looks for the bad side.   
I am not a person who slides by
I am not a person who forgets about her friends. 

Port, support and love

I got my port yesterday. I didn't sleep well the night before. Not because I was nervous about the port, but because I knew I had to get up early. I don't sleep well when I need to get up on the first day of school and  when I need to get up early for a flight. 

We got to the hospital and have I said how much I love the valet parking? It is amazing. No looking for a parking spot! or remembering where you parked. 

They brought us to a room. They started an IV and gave me fluids. I need to design a stylish hospital gown. Bright and colorful, 

They wheeled me to the place they were going to do the placement. Everyone was really nice and kind. They wished me well on my treatment. They were great. I didn't have my contacts in and my glasses where back in the room. So sorry everyone was a blurry face. 

I slept through the whole thing. Which was how I wanted it to be. Oh, they showed me the port (its purple, I have boots that match my port. I'm still looking for purple shoes Size 6 1/2) 

I was all taped up. I got back to my room and slept. and slept. Until they had to get me to sit up. I was fine, not dizzy or lightheaded. Then the very nice nurse offered my water, cranberry juice and crackers. I was really hungry! This fasting before appointments is not fun. 

They put me in a wheel chair and were going to wheel me out of the hospital. I reminded them I had one more appointment that day. So I had to wait in a different waiting room. It seemed like a very long time. 

I had my muga scan of my heart.  Confession time.  When they told me about this scan, it was around the time when all the excitement of the Momo challenge was going on and I couldn't remember what the heart scan was called because I only could remember Momo. Ooops. 

I really admire all the nurses who work hard. They are great! They politely laugh at my jokes and are so sweet. They have all wished me well with my journey. I couldn't have asked for better people around me. 

 

Jovi was confused about why I couldn't play tug with her last night. Poor thing was so sad to have been left behind all day. She was so happy to have us back. 

I did a lot of praying during the Muga scan. God has this. 

I am blessed to have friends who have been sending me Bible passages of encouragement and words of support. I am blessed to have so many people cheering me on. 

French fries and PET scans

Today I got up and couldn't eat breakfast I could sip on water. Yummy?? I got to the hospital and can I just say I love valet parking! It was awesome to hand off the keys to someone else and not have to worry about finding a parking place. (then remember where you parked). 

I got injected with isotopes and had to sit quietly. (that was tough for me) for an hour. I closed my eyes and prayed and thanked God for  all the people he put in my life. I also prayed about this PET scan. 
After I rested for an hour, I went in the scan room. I laid down with my arms over my head for 45 minutes. I kept my eyes closed so I didn't know when I was in the tube and when I was out of the tube. My arms hurt so much from being over my head. I was glad that was over. I hear the results tomorrow. I'm nervous about this test. I have talked to God about it and it is in his hands. He has a great plan for me. I need to trust in him. 
After I got back, We had lunch and I had....French fries. 

We took a trip to Sturgeon Bay. There is a fun thrift store in town. Mom and dad loved the drive up. Mom found some great things at the thrift store and I added to my fabric collection. It was great to get out of the house and drive in the sunshine. It was a beautiful day. 

The next time we go north, we are going to Egg Harbor or Sister Bay. Not sure when we will be able to head north. I'm hoping this May or June. 

It's good to have goals and something to look forward to. 

God is good!

Information overload and I love French Fries

Today I had my Teach. 
This was when I visited where I would get my chemo treatments, and all the side effects from chemo. 
They have chairs facing an outside garden or you could have room, or a room with a bed. They have something for you to drink and snacks. 
The nurse went through all the things I need to do during chemo. They have this great book about all the side effects and what is normal, when you need to call or go in, and how to deal with some things. 

It was a lot of information to take in. Then I talked to another person about the medical part of it. 
I got my "diet" for my PET scan. I can't have any bread, potatoes, nothing with caffeine or regular pop. No sweetened tea or regular Jello,. no fruit. Ugh. Glad it's only for one day. This is why I didn't do the Keto diet. I don't know how people do it!? And I can't eat breakfast. 
But the kicker is right before the test, I have to sit quietly in a darkened room for 1 hour. This might be worse than being stuck in a tube. 
My reward for the PET scan is going to Door County in the afternoon. We are taking the dog. Jovi got an Easter/spring outfit today. Its supposed to be cold tomorrow so she will probably put it on to keep warm. Oh, and I will get French Fries!

I have no idea what else goes with the PET scan. I guess if I have to sit quietly for one hour, that is God's way of saying I want you to talk to me for an hour on Wednesday. I will take the time to talk to God about my journey and what he wants me to do and ask for him to help me with what is going to happen next. 

Guided Biopsy MRI

Monday started my leave. It was odd not to get up and get ready for school. And sad. I really do like the people I work with and the students at school. 
Monday was my guided MRI. I really wasn't sure what was involved in this process. 

I couldn't get in at my place I had gone for my last MRI. It takes a special person to do the guided MRI. I was so glad they were able to get me in. The lady I talked to at the place told me when they were asked if they could fit me in, she did some finagling of the patients coming in so they could fit me in. I thought that was so sweet and nice and kind.
The pants they gave me to put on were too long, so I had to hike them up to walk. That looked pretty comical.
Everyone was really nice. I again asked for 80's music. It started with Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer. Really difficult not to sing along. 
I was pulled in and out of the MRI machine about seven times. Each time they told me I was doing a good job. My upper arm was killing me so was my thumb. The nurses helped me because I couldn't move. So they moved my thumb and arm so it wasn't disrupting the procedure  They put a clip in that they could see where it was. (They don't set off the airport machines. )
My arms were sore, The pain wasn't as bad as my first biopsy. I was still bound by a 1000 foot huge ace bandage. (that might be slightly exaggerated)



The nurse was so sweet, She wanted to make sure I could back out my car of the really small parking lot they have. 
She said they would have the results in a couple of days. I shrugged. I already have a cancerous mass, I am already going to have chemo, This would not be a shocking phone call. 
While I was being pulled in and out of the MRI, I had a nice chat with God. I told him how thankful I was to have amazing people surround me. I was thankful to have doctors and nurses who are looking out for me. I'm so thankful for all the people God has put in my life.